Running A Home

I’m in charge. Why don’t I have an office?

Helen

I was driving.  My daughter, who was then about 5 years asked: “Mom, how do you get to be in charge?”

“What do you mean? In charge of what?”   I answered.  

“Like, you’re in charge of all of us.  How do you get to be in charge?”

My friend, and mom of  two boys, called me at that very moment and I deferred to her.  “Mel wants to know how I got to be in charge of everyone.”

 Her response,  “Oh, right, that’s the booby prize. “

It’s true. I am the person who keeps the budget, who finds the missing shoe, who keeps track of who goes where, and when, and so on. It certainly reads like a boss’s job, yet I don’t feel like a boss.  Bosses go out to lunch, they don’t prepare the meal and also clean up after everybody leaves the room. Bosses wear nice clothes. I wear what I slept in.  Bosses get a paid vacation. I don’t even get paid. Bosses have an office door that closes to indicate they would like privacy, and they get it!  Well, that’s fun to imagine.

If I had an office, with a door to close, it would be lovely. There would be a

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Let the Box Fit

Helen

Here’s a great way to get more from your gift boxes. Usually, you can get sweater boxes and shirt boxes at Target for a decent price, usually under a dollar each and less if they’re on sale.

But, when you need a smaller box, for gloves, or cute novelty socks just to name a couple popular gift items, you will need a smaller box. I know how to take the top OR the bottom of a large box and make it right sized for smaller gifts.

This not only saves you money and cuts down on waste, it’s also really cool.

What Attention Span?

Helen

IMG_6030 This morning I did the regular morning things that many moms do, making coffee, tending to the pets and walking past the kitchen sink filled with dirty dishes.  

Because we’re still on summer break, structure at home is lacking, at best. well,  not. I am happy with flexible due dates and plans based on the contingency of good weather and good moods.  There’s no rush to do much of anything unless company’s coming.   

I know I should set a timer and get some things done. Reading email and perusing facebook can be quite a time suck if I don’t limit my time  resources.  But hold on, I’m on summer vacation right?   I don’t have to worry being late for work, or finding the missing whatever for school.  

I go about reading email without limits, and I saw a notice about an upcoming convention. The subject line reminded about a seminar I’ve been waitlisted for, so I opened a new tab for that.  When the webpage loaded there were all kinds of popups and sidebars, and of course one got my attention but but clicking on the link took me right to Amazon, where wouldn’t your know it, a daily deal for a small printer, just what I needed. A printer was the one thing we forgot to send with our oldest child when she left for college earlier this week. The price was appealing but I always check Shopzilla and it looked like Target had the best price so why not just click on that link too?  I opened the Target page so I could put the printer in my cart  but then I realized  I may as well do the pick up order and get more coffee and dog food.  I left the page open as I stood to put my teacup in the sink and it was then that I began wondering if I really needed to send my daughter a printer.

I looked at the dishes which were piled high, even for me. It was then that I realized I’d been very good at wasting the morning thus far and perhaps it was time to do something useful.  I placed my cup on top of the dishes, tossed my spoon on the counter between two cereal bowls and left the room.  If I was going to waste time I might as well waste it at the beach.  

On my desk I noticed my planner and long list of things that needed to be done.  As soon I can I will go back to the kitchen and have a go at the dishes,  but it’s such a nice day, maybe I should take a walk first and clear my head.  Then, I’ll have a healthy(ish) snack, put my feet up and decide about that printer.  

The Fancy Dress

Helen

layered-green-gown-tabbed

I wrote this piece several months ago, but it seemed timely now that prom season is in full swing.

I recently attended the NJ All Shore Chorus’ 53rd Annual Recital. My daughter was awarded a music scholarship from All Shore this year and when she texted me from the auditions to say she had the scholarship, the first thing I thought about (after yay!) was, what will she wear?  There really isn’t any pomp and circumstance to choir wardrobes. Although she’s needed clothes for every kind of choir you can imagine, from high school to a touring A Capella group, outfitting her has always been the same. “Mom, I need a black dress.”  (It’s amazing how many different kinds of black dresses one girl can own.)   But now were were shopping for a soloist gown that might be  red, or teal, or peach, with beads, or sequins!  I was giddy.

When I was in high school I had just one gown, when we, as seniors, we were encouraged to dress formally for our final spring music recital. I remember the day when my mother bought me a fancy dress for that occasion.” Don’t tell your father how much we spent,” she said. “Just hang it up in your room.  He probably won’t even notice.”  The dress she bought me was over budget, but “for some things we make exceptions,” she said. Now it felt like my time to pay it forward.

Busy schedules sent us shopping after 8pm on three separate occasions, until finally we found the perfect dress which unfortunately did not have the perfect price tag.   But how could I not buy this for her?   How many times will an event like this happen? I could hear mother’s voice in my mind,  “She looks so beautiful in that gown.  She feels beautiful. So, you’ll have to turn the thermostat down for a month and skip all the takeout until Spring. Do it. You will regret it if you don’t.”   And then a saleslady named Anu came into the fitting room and sighed with me. “You have to get this one,” she said in an Indian accent.

“It’s really more than I was planning on spending.” I said.

“Don’t worry about the price mommy.” she said, “I fix it for you.”

And she did. Bless that saleslady who with the swipe of two coupons knocked the price of that dress down by 40%. Anu has daughters too she told me, who are all grown now. “When they feel and look that beautiful?  There is not a price for that. You’re a good mom,” she said. “We moms have to stick together.”  She smiled and zipped up the garment bag.   “Now you carry it,” she said to my daughter.  “Mom did enough hard work today.”

When she stood on the stage that night and sang for us it was perfect. It was all worth it, every penny. And after the concert, and then our small after party,  I was thinking that I hope one day my own daughters will have the chance to buy their own girls a  dream dress. And if not that, then maybe like Anu did, they can help in some other way.

There are so many things our kids want to do that require money and time we’d rather spend elsewhere. But we spend it on them for whatever the important reasons are at the time. For me, this was one of those times.

It’s true, if it can make them look and feel like a million bucks, there really is no price for that. And to my own mom and to Anu I  am grateful to be reminded that you can’t buy happiness, but once in a while you can buy a really great dress.