TikTok brings me joy.
Why?
It’s hard to say.
During the first part of the Covid Stay At Home orders in our state, my husband would stare at his iPad for hours (not kidding here) every evening while he had a cigar. It annoyed the crap out of me. “What is the big deal,” I’d complain. “Oh, right, it’s people making dumb faces and spewing little needed facts about things like how to make fondant flowers!” I shook my head and then went off to bed while he sat on the porch for another hour flicking at his screen, up, over, up, and so on.
This was TikTok and I was not a fan until, one night my daughter saw me seething her dad’s new evening hobby (as if I wasn’t alienated enough by cigar smoke), and she showed me her favorite things about TikTok. I wasn’t immediately sold but, I was curious enough to go back for more the next day when I secretly made an account. I wanted to be able to select or share videos, to post a comment or ask a question. She invited me to be in a TikTok with her, just so I could understand how it works. “Wow,” I said, “that was fun and I don’t even know why.”
It wasn’t long before I made a recipe, from TikTok, or showed my husband a really good guitar riff to learn, from TikTok, and so on. There are tons of household hacks, videos by authors, musicians, magicians, dancers, of course tons of puppies and kittens recipes, you name it, you can find it. But the one thing I get from TikTok that is hard to find these days, is joy. There is an abundance of joy in the videos, and there are people in real pain finding support from humanity. That was the draw, and that’s what keeps me there. Of course, opinions and haters are abundant too, but it’s easy to outnumber the bad with the good once you find the best minded individuals to follow and if you don’t want comments, turn them off.
I talked about TikTok to my music students in the weeks that followed my indoctrination. It seemed like a young persons media so I thought it would make me seem cool. I promised that I would make a video about music as soon as they all completed their missing work. I believe now, that they just thought I was just more than usual. But I did make the video and once again, it was fun and I don’t even know why. There is a link at the bottom of the page if you want to see it.
I’m making more TikTok videos now, mostly for fun but at the core something has been liberated from my psyche that until now has always held me back. My fear and insecurities have somehow been replaced with courage. Something has become more important than fear.
I’ve been thinking about making a series of videos concerning weight loss, thinking that may be a way to actually get to my long and far away goal. If it works, it will be great! If it doesn’t work, I’ll still have the same problem but it will be less “weighty.”
