Day: May 10, 2015

 

I have a hard time with Mother’s Day, forgive me children.  Before you, I would visit my mom, we had lunch, I gave her flowers,  and that made us both really happy.

Then enter a move, a mother in law, three kids and deep sense of obligation to drag us all from our house to my mother’s and then to my in-law’s, making sure no one was disappointed. But the truth is that as much as I did want to see them happy, what I really wanted to say was, “Can you all just leave me out? Let me stay home and watch TV? I want to eat a really good plate of French Fries and read a book while you all go out and visit.   Before you go just clean the house even a little bit so I feel better being here, and then when you all come home, you make dinner, clean up, and let me be the first one to go to bed?   Please?”

 I never said that until the year after I lost my own mom. I figured she’d want me to be happy so I asked my husband to take my mother in law and the kids all to visit his family an hour away. Then fate and an inattentive driver stepped in,  crashed into our car and sent the lot of them all back to me for the rest of the day.   As my mother would say, “Just be happy nobody got hurt.”

I don’t mean to say I hate Mother’s Day, although I do think it’s unfair to celebrate a holiday with inflated prices and guilt, particularly when some of us miss our moms, or miss being one.

This year my daughter is working, my husband is traveling which leaves me with two daughters at home.   We saw grandma Chibnik yesterday, and sadly we will only have my mom in spirit, but happy ones.   I kind of want to go to the mall and forget about the pile of dirty clothes.   I want to pick out a new purse, eat crappy food, and  remember this mother’s day as one of low stress, and high self love.

This morning I got cards and presents and hugs.   My spa plans didn’t work out but that’s okay.   I can always look at the kids who call me mom and know that I don’t need a holiday to feel special. Just look at my hand painted wine glass, fancy new watch and my new coffee mug. It’s more than enough. Now I can drink coffee and check when it’s time to switch to a nice glass of Pinot. Just boycott the $5.99 Hallmark cards and throw in a T-shirt that says your love is all the gift I need.  Well, maybe love and a small token of your appreciation.

Happy Mother’s Day