My Goal is to have an After Picture


According to Weight Watchers, I am not a lifetime member. Even though I’ve lived through versions of the program when you had to eat an egg a day, liver once a week, and no watermelon whatsoever, I am not a lifer.  Decades ago I was a meager two pounds from goal weight, and now as far from goal as I have ever been, I continue to show up with my member ID card, but I’m not a lifer.

Weight watchers, I almost have to disagree.

After giving all of this a lot of thought, it occurs to me that according to Weight Watchers, “Lifetime” goes forward, from the day you prove that you can arrive at, and maintain your goal weight for six weeks. From that point for the rest of your life, regardless of what happens at the scale, you are a lifer. So what you need is an after picture.

It’s okay. I don’t mind.

Weight loss is so complicated for some of us and simple for others. My husband can buy a box of Mallomar cookies and three days later when he opens the cupboard, he shouts “cookies!” surprised they’re there! He didn’t remember! In the absence of early onset Alzheimer’s I would NEVER forget the cookies. In fact it’s almost a schizophrenic episode for me. I hear the cookie voices summoning me: “Open the box, Helen…open the box.”

But I digress.

I need a weight loss goal worth getting and I need an after picture. The best diet I’ve ever worked is one I call the ‘Wedding Day Diet’. It’s better than the ‘Improve my Health Diet,’ ‘Summer is Coming diet’, the ‘Broken Heart Diet’, it’s even better than the ‘Revenge Diet’. Never before and never since my wedding day, was I more aware of the food going into my mouth, because I really wanted to look good from every angle when there’s a photographer following me around – and not one I can really hide from either.

This leads me to my new weight loss goal.

I’ve seen myself in pictures over the last decade and I hate every single one. I often shrug it off, saying “Wow, that’s a good before picture!” I have more before pictures than I want, or need. I’d like an after picture please, and not one from 20 years ago.

I have to give credit now to those Weight Watchers members who have fought the battle and are winning.  There are many. There are people who do every single thing according to the guidelines, and who do it well. There are even lifetime members who only do most things right, most of the time. Sadly, I am not one of those people.

Weight watchers for adults with A.D.D. should be and add on feature of the program and I’m here to start the revolution.  I begin most days with a plan and the best intentions. Then the cookie voices distract me. The day could still be salvageable but in a perfect weight watchers world I blew it. And there’s dinner to make, tasting that needs to happen, and so on. So start fresh tomorrow? Okay. But, the reset button only works once or twice a week max. Ever had the morphine drip after surgery? It’s kinda like that.

Breaking down all of the possibilities of becoming a stellar Weight Watchers member I realize that I may just dream too big.   My daughter said that about herself once, I think she gets it from me.

When I leave each weekly meeting I’m all charged up and ready to go.  I plan the week like a superstar with food and exercise all planned out and scheduled in. I’m like the Roadrunner kicking up swirling balls of dust before take off.   Problem is that right after takeoff I smash into a tree.

So this week, I’m going to go public and say I’m adjusting my sights and lowering my expectations. I am going to dream a little smaller because I don’t really like smashing into trees. I want to navigate the forest and enjoy the walk around. I’m going to be better, not perfect, at managing my diet, and avoiding the trees.

After all, if you think about it, if I keep smashing into trees, my after picture, even a skinny one, would look kind of awful.


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