Last Friday I slipped and fell and fractured my coccyx. As I write this, I’m sitting on a donut pillow, something I thought was reserved for grandmothers and post-op hemorrhoid sufferers.
On that same day was my childhood friend Kathy’s memorial service, she passed away 4 days prior. I had planned on being with Kathy and our mutual friend Donna on the very day Kathy passed away but I didn’t arrive in time. Now I wonder if Kathy was pissed off that I returned to NJ before her memorial, and so she flicked me using other worldly powers. Knowing her, I’m sure she didn’t intend for me to land on a 4″X4″ and then suffer for weeks after. But in some twisted way I think she would find this whole situation humorous. I have to admit, even I find it a little funny.
It’s an injury that is just perfect for jokes and I’ve gotten all kinds of well wishes like these…
“I had that, it’s a real pain in the ass.”
“You break your ass all day long, and for what?”
“Get your ass out of here! Go lay down!”
“That’s a little extreme to get people to kiss your ass don’t you think?”
“Ain’t that a kick in the ass.”
And my favorite was sent in card that came with flowers from the school where I teach music.
It said. “We miss you. Butt, we want to you get better. take care, with Love from your New School Family.”
The puns just keep rolling in don’t they. I thought that after having children all of my dignity was gone, but I was wrong. Just when you think you’ve heard it all, somebody sends you a butt mug.
It would be terribly cliche to say bottoms up at a time like this, or would it?